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The Unexpected Challenges of Being an Estate Executor
When someone asks you to be the executor of their estate, it might seem like a straightforward responsibility - distribute assets according to their will and handle some paperwork. However, as many executors discover, the role involves far more complexity, time, and emotional labor than expected. Understanding these challenges now can help you better prepare, whether you're creating your estate plan or considering serving as an estate executor.

But first, a note about terminology. If someone creates a will, the term used for the person who handles the estate is “executor.” If someone creates a trust, the person who handles the estate is called a “trustee.” When someone becomes incapacitated, the person who handles financial matters is the holder of power of attorney. The jobs are similar but not identical. In this article, we’ll focus on the role of an executor, who is carrying out the wishes of someone who died under the terms of their will. However, if you’d like more information about what a trustee does, book a call with me using the link below.

Let’s get to it.

The Unexpected Financial Burden
One of the most unexpected aspects of being an executor is the immediate financial responsibility. When a person dies, their assets are temporarily frozen until a court grants legal authority to an executor to step into the shoes of the decedent (the person who died) and gather all the assets for distribution to the heirs of the decedent, which could take weeks, months or even years. Unless you plan ahead and create a Life & Legacy Plan that is designed to keep your assets out of court, you’re leaving your executor with a quite burdensome responsibility.
Moreover, funeral homes and other service providers don't wait for the court process. Most funeral homes require payment within days, often ranging from $10,000 to $25,000 or more. While these costs can eventually be reimbursed from the estate (if there are funds available), the executor would need to pay them personally and wait months for reimbursement. This situation can create significant stress, especially if the executor doesn't have readily available funds.

Beyond funeral expenses, executors often need to pay ongoing bills for the deceased's home, such as property taxes, utility bills, insurance premiums, and maintenance costs, which must continue even though the estate's assets are frozen. Again, these expenses typically must be paid out-of-pocket until the executor gains legal access to the deceased person's accounts. Some executors report spending thousands of dollars of their own money during this interim period, creating financial strain at an already difficult time.

Finally, depending on who drafted your will (did you do it on your own, have a lawyer well-versed in estate planning or perhaps a lawyer who just dabbles in wills and trusts?), your executor could be required to come up with the money to pay a bond, which is like an insurance policy that can be thousands of dollars out of pocket, before they can be appointed by the court to serve.

Drowning in Documentation
The paperwork involved in serving as an executor can be overwhelming. Executors must track down and organize all financial accounts, including bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement funds, and insurance policies. They need to obtain multiple copies of death certificates, file court documents to initiate probate, submit final tax returns, close utility accounts, notify creditors, and process insurance claims. Sometimes, financial institutions ask for additional documentation, like a medallion signature - used to prove a person’s identity - which can take additional time and headache. Overall, the entire process often requires numerous phone calls, visits to financial institutions, and hours of organizing documents. Many executors report spending hundreds of hours over many months, or even years, handling these tasks.

Worse, some accounts may never be found. If you haven’t organized your finances so that your executor knows exactly what you have and where to find it, chances are the asset will be lost. When an asset is lost and never claimed, it must be turned over to the State’s Department of Unclaimed Property until (or if) someone finds it and can prove that the deceased was the rightful owner. Think about that for a minute. Would you want your hard-earned money to be turned over to the government or go to the people you want in the way you want? If it’s the latter, you need to create a Life & Legacy Plan. Keep reading to find out how.

Navigating the Family Dynamics
While the technical aspects of being an executor are challenging, the emotional and interpersonal dynamics can be even more difficult to navigate. Executors often find themselves in the uncomfortable position of enforcing the deceased's wishes even when family members disagree. They must maintain impartiality while managing grief - both their own and others' grief. This combination of emotional strain and family expectations can make the role particularly challenging and can lead to conflict in the family. Sadly, that conflict can result in a protracted, expensive court battle and irretrievably broken relationships.

What You Can Do Now to Support Your Executor's Success
When you create a Life & Legacy Plan with me, we will make your executor's job much easier. For instance, I’ll support you to create a comprehensive inventory of your assets, including account numbers and passwords, which can save countless hours of detective work. I’ll also help you keep the inventory updated over time so it’s current when your executor needs it. I’ll also help you set aside funds to cover expenses so your executor doesn’t have to pay out of pocket. And, we will consider whether to use a trust, and name your executor as trustee of the trust, so they don’t have to engage with the court at all.

We’ll also conduct a Life & Legacy Interview together so family members are clear about your wishes. This can go a long way towards preventing future conflicts. Most importantly, I will counsel you to choose the very best person for the job. Many people default to their oldest child or closest relative, but haven’t considered whether they have the time, organizational skills, and emotional capacity to handle this complex role. Understanding exactly what’s involved means you can make your decision with your eyes wide open.

How I Help Make the Process Easier
As your Personal Family Lawyer® Firm, I help you create a comprehensive Life & Legacy Plan that makes your executor's job as straightforward as possible. And after you’re gone, I will be here to guide your executor through the probate process, handle complex legal paperwork, mediate family disputes, ensure compliance with all legal requirements, and provide objective advice during emotional decisions. That’s the value of a Life & Legacy Plan - and why it’s the best gift you can give your loved ones.

Take the first step toward protecting your family and supporting your future executor. Click here to schedule a complimentary 30-minute consultation:

Schedule your free consultation call today to get started.

Why It Matters to Your Loved Ones That You Work With the Right Lawyer

If you don’t work with the right lawyer, your loved ones could face years of stress, conflict and unnecessary expense. But you can avoid putting them through this. Here’s how to find the right legal support. Read more...

When someone you love dies, grief hits hard enough. But imagine adding legal chaos, confusing paperwork, and no one to guide you through it all. That's the reality for thousands of people every year who are left to navigate a confusing, messy, and expensive legal and financial process without support.
In this article, you'll read real stories of families who struggled through the legal and financial process alone, the challenges they faced, and why having the right lawyer, as a trusted advisor to you and your loved ones, makes all the difference for the people you love when they need it most. Let's start by looking at what actually happens when families are left to navigate the process on their own.

Real Stories of Legal Chaos
The best way to understand why your loved ones need guidance when something happens to you is to see what happens when people don't have good guidance. These are real stories about real people. They aren't hypothetical scenarios:

Molly's Seven Handwritten Wills
Molly thought writing down her wishes would be enough to pass on her assets the way she wanted. After her death, her family found seven different handwritten documents she wrote on her own. By the time an attorney was hired to sort out the mess these handwritten notes created, fourteen heirs were claiming rights to the estate. Twelve estranged family members suddenly appeared, and one intended beneficiary was ready to give up and split everything with relatives Molly barely knew. Perhaps Molly thought her situation was simple, and yet it turned out to be anything but that. We find that’s often the case. Many people say “oh, my situation is simple” and, yet, for the people you love, it can be anything but simple once you are gone.

The Blended Family Betrayal
Nancy and Jack created "mirror image wills" leaving everything to each other, then equally to their five children from previous marriages. When Nancy died suddenly, all her assets went to Jack - who quickly executed a new will naming only his three biological children as beneficiaries of all the assets. Nancy's two children were forced to leave their mother's home and received nothing from their mother. Think it won’t happen in your family? If you are on a second or third marriage (or more) with children from a prior, your kids are at risk without great pre-planning and a post-death trusted advisor.

If you want to dive even deeper on this one, get the book Rest In Peace. Robbed In Probate.: The Story Behind a Widow’s $2 Billion Jury Verdict Against JPMorgan Chase Bank by Jo Hopper. Yes, stories like this happen everyday. If you have a blended family, let’s get your estate planning updated or handled so nothing like this happens to the people you love.

Frank's 21 Heirs
Frank built a successful family business with two nephews who were like sons to him. They were the only family members at his funeral. But because Frank died without a will, the law required that his estate be divided equally among all 21 of his nieces and nephews - including 19 people he hadn't seen in over 20 years. The two nephews who helped build his business and who were close to him got the same small fraction as relatives who'd been strangers to Frank.

If you are building a family business, don’t leave the future to chance. Create it now by calling us and schedule a Life & Legacy PlanningⓇ Session so we can review your family dynamics and your assets, then create the right plan.

Stories like these highlight a simple truth: without the right lawyer who knows you, can anticipate conflict, and provide guidance to those you love, the process of transitioning assets after your death can be slow, expensive, and often heartbreaking. To truly understand how to protect your loved ones, let’s dig deeper into exactly why the process is so daunting.

How People Struggle Without Legal Guidance
Without the right lawyer who already knows you and your family, your loved ones are left to figure everything out on their own. Here's what happens:

Nobody knows what to do. When you have no estate plan or an estate plan that fails when your loved ones need it because it’s just a set of documents in a drawer or on a shelf with little guidance or direction, the people you care about the most could be forced to go to court for a process called probate (after your death) or guardianship/conservatorship (during your life), even if you have a will or power of attorney in place.

Court requires navigating forms, deadlines, and formal hearings in front of a judge, which is confusing, complicated and has means following rules that may be obscure. People end up in a legal system they don't understand while experiencing the weight of grieving. It's like being dropped into a foreign country where you don't speak the language.

It costs more than you think. Probate fees, court costs, and attorneys' bills add up quickly. In many states lawyers can charge a percentage of the estate's gross value. For example, a $600,000 home - and no other assets - means potentially tens of thousands in legal fees. Even a modest estate can lose a fortune to the process. This is much more expensive than working with the right lawyer in the first place.

In addition, when you don’t already have a lawyer to turn to, your loved ones will need to find a lawyer who’s a stranger to you, and doesn’t know what was important to you. Your loved ones will have to pay that lawyer to review all relevant documents and talk to people who knew you. It’s like starting all over but also without first-hand knowledge.

The process drags on and accounts are inaccessible. Even simple matters can take months. Complicated ones take years. While you’re waiting for the process to unfold, your assets will be frozen, leaving your loved ones in financial limbo. During that time, they can't access the money they need or move forward with their lives.

And it’s not just their inheritance they won’t be able to access. If you have a mortgage on your home, loved ones will have to pay out of their own pockets (often with a mortgage of their own) to pay your mortgage to keep the bank from foreclosing.

Conflict explodes. Grief and stress magnify small disagreements, turning them into costly battles that can destroy relationships. One heir might want to sell the family home immediately, while another wants to keep it. Without clear guidance, minor differences turn into major rifts. It happens all the time, even in families where conflict didn’t exist before.

Assets get lost. Think about this: Would your loved ones know how to find and access all your assets? Do they know where you bank and how many accounts you have? Would they know about your insurance policies or retirement accounts? If you receive benefits through an employer, would they know how to access that information? Do they know where your passwords are kept or how to unlock your phone or laptop?

Most people haven’t considered these questions before, and what happens is an asset gets missed. And once assets are missed, they are turned over to the state’s Department of Unclaimed Property to sit there, unavailable for the people you love.

Predators move in. Probate files are public, which means scammers can target vulnerable heirs with fake claims or schemes. Without a lawyer protecting the family's interests, these threats can devastate what's left of the estate.

It's easy to think, "My family will figure it out," but the truth is most families are blindsided by just how much is involved. Even tasks as simple as locating accounts, paying final bills, and filing court paperwork can feel impossible without someone to guide the way.

The good news is there's a better way. One that provides your family with the support, guidance, and protection they need.

Our Personal Family LawyerⓇ Difference
As a Personal Family Lawyer, I don't just draft documents and disappear. I get to know you, your family, your assets, and your wishes. When you die, your loved ones won't be left scrambling for answers or searching for a lawyer who doesn't know you. They'll have someone who already understands what matters to you.

Here’s what this means for those you love most:
- Clear, enforceable instructions so they aren’t left guessing what you wanted or how to make it happen.
- Step-by-step guidance through the process so they can focus on healing, not paperwork and legal complexity.
- Decreasing conflict by making sure everyone understands your wishes before disputes erupt.
- Support when it matters most, from someone they already know and trust.

Think about the difference between showing up to a hospital emergency room where no one knows your history, versus seeing a doctor who has been with you for years. The first experience is stressful and full of uncertainty. The second is calmer, because someone who already knows your background can act quickly and confidently. That's what working with me is like for your loved ones after you're gone.

This relationship is what makes life so much easier for all the people you love.

A Plan That Works With a Relationship to Support It
My Life & Legacy Planning process is what makes all this possible. Unlike traditional estate planning that focuses only on documents, Life & Legacy Planning is a comprehensive approach that only Personal Family Lawyers like me offer. It’s an entire system that ensures your plan actually works when your family needs it.

When you work with a traditional lawyer, you get documents, you sign them, and that's the end of the relationship. But documents alone don't prevent court, family disputes, or lost assets.

When you work with me, on the other hand, you’ll create a Life & Legacy Plan that goes further. It includes:
- A complete inventory of your assets, so nothing is overlooked or lost when you're gone.
- Regular reviews to update your plan as your life and laws change over time.
- Clear guidance for your loved ones on what to do first and how to handle everything step by step.
- A trusted lawyer who will be there for them when you can't be.

When you work with the right lawyer, planning isn't about paperwork. It's about creating a roadmap for your loved ones and giving them a guide they already know and trust. It's about keeping them out of court and conflict while preserving not just your assets but your values and wishes for the next generation. It’s about making things as easy as possible for them so they have space to grieve. And it’s about peace of mind for you, knowing you’ve done all you can for everyone you love.
Which future do you want for the people you love? Sailing through the legal and financial process with confidence or drowning in confusion while they're trying to grieve?

Here’s Your Next Step
The greatest gift you can leave behind isn't money, it's peace of mind. With a traditional lawyer, your family could face years of confusion, conflict, and court. With me as a Personal Family Lawyer, they'll have guidance, support, and protection when they need it most.

As your Personal Family Lawyer Firm, I don't just create plans; I build relationships that last. Let's work together to create a Life & Legacy Plan that ensures you’ve made life as easy on your loved ones as possible when you’re no longer here.

Schedule your free consultation call today to get started.

These articles are a service of Bierbrauer Law, a Personal Family Lawyer Firm. We don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That's why we offer a Life & Legacy Planning Session, during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love. You can begin by calling our office today to schedule a Life & Legacy Planning Session.

The content is sourced from Personal Family Lawyer® for use by Personal Family Lawyer firms, a source believed to be providing accurate information. This material was created for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as ERISA, tax, legal, or investment advice. If you are seeking legal advice specific to your needs, such advice services must be obtained on your own separate from this educational material.